Jake Speaking

by Kyle

     "Hello, thank you for calling State Farm.  Jake speaking.  How may I help you?" says Jake as he answers the phone at his stressful work.  Jake is sick and tired of the people calling up just to laugh at him because of that State Farm commercial.  "Yes, I am wearing khakis."  A sigh comes out as the customer is getting amused on the other end of the line asking him.

    Jake walks home, he takes off his tie, and wonders why he has to dress up to answer the phone at his work.  The idea is confusing and frustrating him to the point of yelling at his innocent dog, Jake, Jr.  He gets some ice cream and curls up on the couch.  All of a sudden the phone rings.  Jake puts down his ice cream and slowly walks up to the landline, staring at it like it's an alien object.  He picks it up and asks, "Hello?"  "Hey, is this Jake from State Farm?" the caller answered.  Jake screamed at the phone, ripping it off the wall, and stomping on it like he was trying to put out a fire.

     The next day at work he stepped out of his cubical to have a few words with his boss.  "I can't take it anymore!" Jake explained to his boss.  "All of those people making fun of me just because I'm Jake from State Farm."  Jake broke down, for he could not take any more.  "I'm working at Nationwide!" he yelled as he darted out of the office that was awarded with many awards.

     Jake has been living under a bridge since the talk with his boss.  Many people think that he's overreacting.  He actually still has a house, but he's just so heartbroken.  After the third day or so, he decided he was going to Nationwide to apply for a job.  After a long hot shower he went to Nationwide and on the way there he ran into his old boss and a couple of his old coworkers.  His boss was a taller man who was built strong.  One of the coworkers was the same, but the other was much shorter and had a bat in his hands.  The boss looked at him and said, "You're the reason we had good business.  People have stopped calling after we told them you had left."  Jake was speechless.  He darted away and the others started to chase him.  Jake cut through an alley and hopped over the fence.  After what had seemed like forever Jake stopped.  No one was following him anymore.  He had felt a moment of security as he walked off and found Nationwide nearby.

     He walked into the facility and asked the front desk for an application paper.  She handed it to him.  He took it and thanked her, but as he walked away to the waiting area he couldn't help but notice the weird look she was giving him.  He filled out the application and handed it to her.  She scanned it and said with a smile, "Your name is Jake, and you just came from State Farm."  Jake sighed and looked at the floor.  She got up and said, "This way, I want you to meet the boss."  She led him to a door and as she opened it, Jake realized what was happening.  The door led to the parking lot.  He felt a hand push him on the back.  Then the worst possible thing in his mind happened to him.  His old boss was standing there with the trunk open.