Thursday, February 27, 2014
A shockwave blasted through Room 27's financial department on Thursday, carrying with it the amassed fortunes of the richest citizens in the room. Local notary Kyle, along with co-conspirators Jayton, Hunter, and Chris, successfully took over $200 from the pockets of their classmates and deposited it squarely into their bank accounts.
"It was mostly my idea," admits Kyle, the Notary Public for Room 27. "It worked out pretty well, too."
Several days ago, in what this reporter assumes was a dry run of this latest and greatest scheme, Kyle and Jayton successfully tricked several classmates into paying for candy. Hiding behind his authority as Notary, and playing off the greed, ambition, hopes, and dreams of his classmates, Kyle drafted a contract promising a "chance" to win a math homework pass, with only one promised winner.
However, in fine print at the bottom of the contract, which Kyle notarized as soon as he ran out of potential customers, his eager classmates failed to note the fine print which stated that "whoever signs has to buy Jayton and Kyle a Jolly Rancher." After waiting several days for any classmates to question them on the opportunity, Kyle and Jayton legally took $4.00 from each of the signatories' accounts, and enjoyed their well-earned rewards. No one noticed the missing funds.
Two days ago, following their successful acquisition, Kyle and Jayton took on an associate named Hunter, and the three of them drafted yet another contract, this one promising a "chance to win a new, unused pencil." Oblivious to the former withdrawals from their accounts, several of their prior victims and even more fresh opportunity-seeking clients signed up. Again, Kyle notarized the document, making it legally binding within Room 27, and again, in fine print at the bottom, there was a catch. "Whoever signs this directs their interest into Hunter, Jayton, and Kyle's accounts." Kyle held onto this document, perhaps uncertain of his chance to repeat the performance, until he revealed today's greatest scheme.
In a fit of fantastic audacity, the three conspirators took on a fourth associate, Chris, and drafted a magnificent piece of legal and financial subterfuge. This time, they promised a "chance" to win an ELA or Social Studies homework pass, a $35.00 value in an economy that has only $815.00 in circulation. This time, there were fewer takers, and all four of the conspirators had to add their names to the list of customers to convince them of their integrity. The rewards, however, were worth the risk. Thanks to the fine print, the four unknowing victims had their bank accounts drained in a matter of minutes following the notarization of the contract, which was shortly followed by the prior contract concerning accrued interest.As previously stated, the current economy has $815.00 in circulation. This reporter has found a copy of the banker's ledger, calculating the net transactions based on those two contracts. A grand total of $213.95 was appropriated and redistributed by Kyle, over one quarter of the current economy.
"It has to be illegal," insists Scarlet, one victim of the scheme. "Isn't there a law against that?" Jasmine, who did not sign either document, but shares an account with Scarlet, agrees. "How could they do that? Why does this affect me?" The two lost over $74.00.
Not every victim is so traumatized. Dakota, who lost only $0.44 thanks to some coincidentally quick maneuvering before the contract was submitted to the bank, is mostly disappointed and amused. "You have to admit, it is pretty funny," he says.
Still, some of the victims are taking legal action in an attempt to reclaim their funds, or at the very least prevent such an atrocity from happening again. One piece of legislation has already been presented to the government in an attempt to reclaim the funds, but it was shot down due to the lack of legal standing. Madison and Kyler, two additional victims, have started developing a lawsuit with Scarlet, their lawyer, and intend to take the four conspirators all the way through the court system until their money is returned.
"There has to be something," Scarlet insists. She has a solid record of victories in the courts, and she seems confident she can find a legal means of returning the money to the victims. This case may be her first true legal failure, however, as fine print is not currently illegal, and all notarized contracts have legal standing in Room 27.
The story is ongoing.
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