Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Does Anybody Really Win?

Courtroom Drama Concludes with Moderate Decision
by Mr. DeMaris
Tuesday, March 4, 2014

     After the outrage over the scam perpetrated by four citizen of Room 27 last week, today's court decision left many people dissatisfied, but many parties on both sides seemed content with the ruling.  The arguments for and against the legality and ethics of the scheme took over an hour, and after deliberating for more than half an hour, the court handed down a decision that neither party should have the money involved.

     In an unexpected ruling, the court dismissed the charges of misusing study hall time, disrespecting opinions, and causing outbursts leveled by the prosecution against the defendants.  According to the law as it stands, causing outbursts is not illegal, but participating therein may be; the court chose not to press charges against the class as a whole for the outburst they created after discovering the effects of the plot.  The court agreed, to an extent, with the defense's argument that the law stating "Everyone is responsible for their own materials" (Article IV, Section 6) means individuals are responsible for their own money, not just classwork, but extended that to apply to the defendants as well.  Just as the plaintiffs should have been more careful with their signatures, so too the defendants should have been more responsible with their clever plans.  Thanks to the charges of bullying leveled under Law 8, the official definition of bullying was established as "to use intimidating, disturbing, or superior language or behavior to disrupt another person's composure."  The court struggled to decide whether or not the inherently deceptive practices of the four conspirators constituted bullying, but certainly agreed that it was unethical.

     In sum, the real victim was the classroom order, and the true perpetrator was Kyle, who masterminded the plot and used his position as notary to build confidence in his victims.  Therefore, the court decided to take back the $212 in question from the conspirators and place it, instead, in the party fund, where it could benefit the class as a whole.  Scarlet, who admitted to bullying behavior while under oath, was given a $10 fine.  In addition, the court leveled $80 in fines to numerous people in the room for distracting and speaking out of turn during the proceedings.

     It is the opinion of this reporter that the real winner in this case was the government of Room 27, which built up more power with its new laws making fine print in the classroom illegal (see here for the current laws), and took $90 from the citizens.  Hopefully, this will serve as a deterrent for future conspiracies, but for right now it has only broken the trust of some citizens in the lawmaking ability of the notary and his allies.

Monday, March 3, 2014

Court Date Set

Fortune on the Line as Court Date Looms
by Mr. DeMaris
Monday, March 3, 2014

     The four men responsible for the recent financial tsunami in Room 27 are going to court tomorrow, March 4, 2014, on charges of theft, misrepresentation, and unethical conduct, among others.  Kyle, Hunter, Jayton, and Chris will defend themselves, as they have not secured a lawyer; Kyle will stand as their representative.  Scarlet has offered to represent the prosecution; her solid track record suggests she may do well.

     The results of the case will be published soon.

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Newsflash! Scam, Scheme, or Success?

Scam or Success?  Four Local Men Successfully Amass a Fortune
by Mr. DeMaris
Thursday, February 27, 2014

     A shockwave blasted through Room 27's financial department on Thursday, carrying with it the amassed fortunes of the richest citizens in the room.  Local notary Kyle, along with co-conspirators Jayton, Hunter, and Chris, successfully took over $200 from the pockets of their classmates and deposited it squarely into their bank accounts.

     "It was mostly my idea," admits Kyle, the Notary Public for Room 27.  "It worked out pretty well, too."

     Several days ago, in what this reporter assumes was a dry run of this latest and greatest scheme, Kyle and Jayton successfully tricked several classmates into paying for candy.  Hiding behind his authority as Notary, and playing off the greed, ambition, hopes, and dreams of his classmates, Kyle drafted a contract promising a "chance" to win a math homework pass, with only one promised winner.

Friday, February 14, 2014

No School - Enjoy your Ten-Day Vacation!

     Due to unsafe road conditions, caused by the ridiculous amount of precipitation outside, you have no school today!  Enjoy the day off and the resulting ten-day vacation.  Drama students should practice their songs, 8th grade should finish their reading and writing, and all of you should take advantage of this chance to relax and enjoy some well-earned rest.

     I'll see you on the 24th!

Thursday, February 6, 2014

You Played Well

     Tonight, the Girls played against Indian Island for the Championship, and although they played hard and well, lost 40-18 to the Warriors.  This has been an eventful season, and you all should be proud of yourselves.
     Go Panthers!

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

No School Today

     Due to expected weather conditions, the administration has cancelled school today.  Enjoy the snow!

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Girls' Basketball Playoffs!

     Tonight at 3:30 on Indian Island, our Lady Panthers play against Beech Hill for the playoffs.  Everyone should come to the game and support them!  Tell a friend and bring a friend, if you can!